10.10.10

Later on is October 10, 2010.. As that specific date approaches.. my heart is steadily crossing over a bridge of emotions.. If I'm not careful.. I might crash.. Ha. I'm so emo-ish what in the world is wrong with me?

I want to repair my heart.. Like I always say, why is a human's heart fluttering?

I'm irritated.. My first poem was because of that person.. and until now I continue on making succeeding poems of unwanted emotions.. I really wanted to throw them away.. but it just keeps on reviving by itself..

Like in every heartbeat.. It's gone, but after awhile it's there again. It's hard to recover in every breath.. Lord, I know that You know why I'm feeling like this.

Lord this I pray... Today and tomorrow and forever as the day goes on... I'd be able to let go...

I want the art of letting go..

At one point, I promised that I won't get hurt. At one point, I thought these feelings would avert.. Once upon a time, there's a me who cried... Because of cryptic messages that made me abide.



alot of emotions would be better, just not this...

Kuse ni naruwa~ :D

I think I've fallen for you... but I don't know... I don't know...I don't want to sacrifice a friendship so precious to me..~

 Ayeh I'm crazy xD. HAHA.. nevermind...


The thing is...


Life isn't being nice to me right now..


Oh wells..


I love and I don't even know if it's true,,


okay .. kuse ni naruwa boy, so that I may grant it..


I know I'm just seriously out of it today..


das, desufnoc~..
-SHIM HAE RIN; AYUMI SAKURA

Never knew I was possessive..

It would be so much better if I ignored it.

A human's emotion is fluttering, full of spirit and free will... I chose to notice it and by noticing it I didn't even realize it flourished altogether by itself throughout the years.. Is this part of the growing pains one has to go through? I must say, it's difficult... painful... more than I could have imagined.. I always asked myself why I did that. I always wanted to hate myself for that one thing.. God told me I should never do that though..


As a result.. it means suppressing emotions, even from before there was a small percentage of chance, I don't even know why I even thought that it would eventually change.. Well it did change.. it intensified...


Don't understand myself, I also still can't let go of someone who's so important to me.. Making me smile... comforted and happy, that person was never a liability to me.. Except when I get worried.. opposite goes for the other one..


Never knew I was so possessive.. I feel afraid and anxious of my own emotions but until now.. I still can't help but realize that all these clamors in my head would've gone if I ignored long ago..

In a world of silence

In a world of silence, that is where I want to be..

A place where it wouldn't be you I see..

Somewhere where I won't think it's always been her

That in your heart there has been no other...

My accountability over my emotions is depleting..

I want to let go, but it won't let me..

Something keeps me from holding on..

But I'm also clutching on the other.. unwilling to let it go..

Maybe I can think of a life without the other..

But as for the other, I needed that bother..

If only I could pluck out the stars out of the heavens..

Just for me to be able to wish that your heart,mind and soul would be mine..

• I'm just bored..
• I'm unusually bothered...
• I'm full of mystified thoughts..
• I don't decode cryptic signals..
• I don't know why I should care..

-Shim Hae Rin..