It would be so much better if I ignored it.
A human's emotion is fluttering, full of spirit and free will... I chose to notice it and by noticing it I didn't even realize it flourished altogether by itself throughout the years.. Is this part of the growing pains one has to go through? I must say, it's difficult... painful... more than I could have imagined.. I always asked myself why I did that. I always wanted to hate myself for that one thing.. God told me I should never do that though..
As a result.. it means suppressing emotions, even from before there was a small percentage of chance, I don't even know why I even thought that it would eventually change.. Well it did change.. it intensified...
Don't understand myself, I also still can't let go of someone who's so important to me.. Making me smile... comforted and happy, that person was never a liability to me.. Except when I get worried.. opposite goes for the other one..
Never knew I was so possessive.. I feel afraid and anxious of my own emotions but until now.. I still can't help but realize that all these clamors in my head would've gone if I ignored long ago..
In a world of silence
In a world of silence, that is where I want to be..
A place where it wouldn't be you I see..
Somewhere where I won't think it's always been her
That in your heart there has been no other...
My accountability over my emotions is depleting..
I want to let go, but it won't let me..
Something keeps me from holding on..
But I'm also clutching on the other.. unwilling to let it go..
Maybe I can think of a life without the other..
But as for the other, I needed that bother..
If only I could pluck out the stars out of the heavens..
Just for me to be able to wish that your heart,mind and soul would be mine..
- I'm just bored..
- I'm unusually bothered...
- I'm full of mystified thoughts..
- I don't decode cryptic signals..
- I don't know why I should care..
-Shim Hae Rin..
