Never knew I was possessive..

It would be so much better if I ignored it.

A human's emotion is fluttering, full of spirit and free will... I chose to notice it and by noticing it I didn't even realize it flourished altogether by itself throughout the years.. Is this part of the growing pains one has to go through? I must say, it's difficult... painful... more than I could have imagined.. I always asked myself why I did that. I always wanted to hate myself for that one thing.. God told me I should never do that though..


As a result.. it means suppressing emotions, even from before there was a small percentage of chance, I don't even know why I even thought that it would eventually change.. Well it did change.. it intensified...


Don't understand myself, I also still can't let go of someone who's so important to me.. Making me smile... comforted and happy, that person was never a liability to me.. Except when I get worried.. opposite goes for the other one..


Never knew I was so possessive.. I feel afraid and anxious of my own emotions but until now.. I still can't help but realize that all these clamors in my head would've gone if I ignored long ago..

In a world of silence

In a world of silence, that is where I want to be..

A place where it wouldn't be you I see..

Somewhere where I won't think it's always been her

That in your heart there has been no other...

My accountability over my emotions is depleting..

I want to let go, but it won't let me..

Something keeps me from holding on..

But I'm also clutching on the other.. unwilling to let it go..

Maybe I can think of a life without the other..

But as for the other, I needed that bother..

If only I could pluck out the stars out of the heavens..

Just for me to be able to wish that your heart,mind and soul would be mine..

• I'm just bored..
• I'm unusually bothered...
• I'm full of mystified thoughts..
• I don't decode cryptic signals..
• I don't know why I should care..

-Shim Hae Rin..